Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Christmas Party (HELL)hole Memories

Michelle has been nagging at me to go to our company Christmas party and I'm kind of "so-so" about going. Seeing your co workers tipsy can sometimes be not so pretty. When I recall older Christmas parties there's been some funny instances with some co-workers including...

- Drunk woman going home with manager of the pizza place I worked at who later got busted in Homosexual-department store washroom sting, which my hometown paper printed peoples names in the paper.

- Morning show producer goes home with Sports Producer (Sports producer had a kid... 2 weeks before)

- Drunk co-worker asking female friend if me and her were going to f***

This year, our Christmas party doesn't even have an open bar, since it got ruined (so I hear) by some out of control females in another department. (Damn them!)

It made me think of what might be the best Christmas party I went to, and oddly enough it was the worst place to ever work at. The Canadian Home Shopping Channel.

After dealing with management that made a chapter out of LORD OF THE RINGS seem almost heavenly, I convinced my friend Liisa to go to it, back in the day. I decided their retarted mind games were not going to stand in the way of me enjoying some chewy roast beef at the somewhat tacky, LUNA ROOM, a ballroom that looks like a condemed attraction at Disney World.

Liisa came into the T dot by way of her ex-boyfriend on a very snowy night, with a Chevette that kept breaking down along the way. Earlier that day I went to Kensigton Market and picked up a vintage dress shirt and green striped tie, along with some Chia Green hairspray to rip the rug away.

We sit with some people from the store (who I didn't know) and just start yammering on, while we hit the wine which NOBODY at the table was drinking. There was nobody from production at my table, and with Liisa, we just continued to have a fun time. Meanwhile, the cool people I liked in production staff (including a parade of Zirconia models and cameramen) came over to our table when the store staff left.

Then came the prizes. 3rd Prize was a VCR, which was won by some employee I didn't know.

"I should have won that!" I said. Then they were doing the draw for the 2nd Prize, a camcorder... The Sanyo Fuzzy Logic. The same camcorder that I had to explain to shopping channel show hosts how to demonstrate on air (the line they used over and over I created, "It works like the retna of your eye"... LOL!) "Now, I DESERVE to win that!"

Did Hugh rig it? I'll never know, but it was the BEST prize I ever won. Long after the debacle of selling my soul along with poorly made info-mercial based merchandise, who know that camcorder would document the next couple of years with me and go around the world to places like Poland, Russia, Finland, Estonia, Amsterdam, and the list went on.

Long after the green hair and the alcohol, the camcorder stayed with me. It was the best, and most practical thing I had ever won.

Who cares about the rest of the party? LOL!


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