Saturday, November 10, 2007

Figuring Out Dreams....

Again, I'm trying to be more dilligent in writing on here. Sometimes it just kind of feels odd in a "dear diary" type sense but maybe writing more for me right now would be theraputic.

It's kind of been a down week for me this week as I try to figure out things in my personal life. Last week I was innondated with really good news outside of my work life dealing with CONFLICT ARCHIVES, then this week was kind of more personal blows. On top of it as well, my Mom just called to say my Grandfather isn't doing very good. Indeed it's strange when I reflect on back when I was a little boy and would see him come home to my Grandparents house, strong and built like an ox. My parents recently retired. You look back and go "where did the years go?" Eventually, we all get older. With my grandparents, I can see how the time has flown by. Plus I have just came to the conclusion that some things, you just can't generally control. You can give love, but it might not be enough. You can't control changes in your body when you get older. It's work in progress that you need to work and figure out what the parameters are (with aging and love) and see what will work best for you and others around you.

I've slept horribly lately and prayed this morning to have someone I cared deeply for return, and some kind of sign to figure it all out. I fell asleep and was given this strange dream....

I was in the United States and driving with some older woman who I was driving back across the border after some kind of conference. The woman kept showing me these papers of all this "personal self seminar" kind of stuff. While driving, I noticed so much construction. Boards randomly construted at exits looking like bad AGO art projects. I reached in my pockets to find my passport and just found my licence and my bank card. How did I get across the border without my passport? And why are there so many exits that are blocked up? How am I going to get back into Canada????

It ended and I woke up, a little bit more rested but trying to figure out the dream. If there is another plateau, was this some kind of vision that they were putting into my head? Or was this me trying to figure out the highs and lows of my life recently. Who knows.

But reflecting now on the dream... It's really has caputered how I feel right about now. I'm still figuring out the journey sometimes without the security of my passport which gets me cross borders by saying who I am, and what my business is.

So, in essense. I don't know if it's something created in my mind, or the divine creator placed it there to say "Hey, life is an adventure Dion! Figure it out!"

Maybe I just need to write a letter to Lenor (if you don't know WHO Lenor is, see later on in my blog).

Well, it's time to go about my day. And hopefully I don't hit too many exits with strange wooden borders!


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